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Chapter 20 - Mothers Die
When I was teaching institute in Missouri, a man in his late twenties came to an afternoon class. He asked unusual questions and made some rather bizarre comments. Most of what he said was very negative. After the second time he came, I invited him into my office after class. I asked him how he felt about the church, and he said that he had a lot of bad feelings about it. I suggested that institute class was not the best place to deal with those issues and recommended that instead he have a talk with his bishop. He didn’t want to talk to his bishop, but he wanted to tell me why he had negative feelings.
He told me that when he was on his mission, his mother became quite ill. He prayed very sincerely that she would be healed. He promised that he would be the best missionary and person that he could if she was healed.
A few months went by and his mother got worse and died. He was devastated. He asked his mission president to let him go home for the funeral. After some counseling, pondering, and prayer, the mission president said that he felt inspired that his mother and the Lord wanted him to remain in the mission field.
The young man became very angry and told his mission president to jump in the lake. He left his mission and never returned. He was extremely upset with the Lord for allowing his mother to die. He was upset with the mission president for not wanting him to go home. His anger and bitterness grew. He quit attending church and intentionally became involved in all kinds of sin. I suggested that it was best not to talk to me about those things and that he really needed to be talking with his bishop. He repeated that he did not want to talk to his bishop. Overall, he was very emotional, very negative, and very troubled.
Then he asked me what I thought about all he had told me.
I looked across the desk at him. “I think that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“What?”
I repeated, “I think that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”
He jumped up, red faced. I thought he was going to climb across the desk and clobber me. He screamed, “How dare you say that to me?”
I leaned forward and said, very firmly, “Everyone’s mother dies! My mother died. Your mother died. If none of us can keep our testimonies when our mothers die, then no one can believe in God, or stay in the church. What you just told me is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard because you have failed to accept the basic fact that everyone’s mother dies, sooner or later, no matter what.”
He sat down. He was quiet for a while. Finally he said, “Well, maybe I better go talk to my bishop.” A short time later, his bishop told me that he was meeting with him and some progress was being made.
Sooner or later we will all have loved ones die. We need to be spiritually prepared to deal with it in such a way that we will be worthy to live with them in the next life.
Prophetic Insight
“The spirits of the just are exalted to a greater and more glorious work; hence they are blessed in their departure to the world of spirits. Enveloped in flaming fire, they are not far from us, and know and understand our thoughts, feelings, and motions, and are often pained therewith.” History of the Church, 5:390; The Best of Joseph and Brigham, GVS, 99)
Discussion Questions
1. When someone you love dies, how do you plan to deal with it?
2. What do you need to do to be worthy to live with your loved ones when you get to the other side of the veil?