Cleopatra's Itch

The historical Cleopatra was an ancient Egyptian Queen who was a serious scholar, spoke many languages, and experimented with pharmacology. Cleo is an imaginary modern entity. This very short story includes some interesting facts and insights, but the experiences, ideas, and narrative are fictional or anecdotal.

When she was 23, Cleo started getting eczema on her hands and feet. As the itching got worse and worse, she scratched more and more, which caused the eczema to spread over much of her body. She had dozens of itchy little blisters with clear goo in them, especially on her fingers.

She tried not to scratch but when she slept, she scratched so much and so hard that she would wake up bloody. Then the scratch wounds started getting infected. Before bedtime she would sometimes tape pillows on her hands to prevent scratching.

She found that hot water gave some temporary relief and ended up using water so hot that it caused burns which also got infected and required antibiotics.

She went to several doctors who prescribed cortisone cream which helped but did not cure. Eventually, doctors gave her cortisone pills and shots which temporarily relieved her symptoms.

Cleo suffered with eczema and hives for years and was treated with Mometasone Furoate Cream, Fluocinonide Ointment, CeraVe Itch Relief Lotion, and many other things, which helped but did not cure. Eventually, she decided that the things which relieved her eczema and hives the most were oatmeal and bleach baths, and oatmeal lotion spiked with bleach.

One night she had a vivid dream in which she talked with Cleopatra, the ancient Egyptian Queen whose name she shared. In the dream, Queen Cleopatra told her that she would never get better unless she quit scratching. Cleo responded that she had tried but could not quit. With queenly authority, Cleopatra declared: "No matter how bad it itches, you don't have to scratch it."

Over a period of several years, Cleo applied Cleopatra's advice and developed the willpower to resist scratching. When she got to the point that she almost never scratched, eczema and hives flared up occasionally but quickly went away when she didn't scratch and applied helpful medication.

Overcoming her skin problems helped Cleo come to a life-changing realization. Nothing in her life was harder than dealing with and overcoming her itch. For example, controlling her appetite was much easier than not scratching. Not smoking, resisting alcoholic drinks, and not using drugs were all easier than not scratching. In fact, every physical and spiritual temptation was easier to conquer than not scratching. 

Therefore, Cleo went on to become a highly disciplined and successful person. Since work was easier than not scratching, getting a good education and a good job were within reach. Most of her life was good for years. Then the bottom dropped out.

Cleo started getting fungal infections and intertrigo in mid-body areas. Even without scratching, the itching, irritation, and pain was miserable. She went to many dermatologists and tried many medications, including Monistat, Tolnaftate Cream, Ketoconazole, Betamethasone ointment, and Fluconazole pills. Some of the medications worked for a while but the inflammation usually came flaring back within a few hours or days.   

She was surprised to discover that vinegar, Mentholatum, Dr Teals's Foot Cream, and diluted Icy Hot Pro sometimes offered more relief than prescription medications.

One wise dermatologist recommended True Cider Serum which worked well for several years, and then quit working. Cleo was desperate, and then she had another dream.

In her dream, Queen Cleopatra stood before her and said: "It has been reported that I was one of the most beautiful and cunning people in the history of the world. Since Roman enemies and historians have vilified me, I will defend my life and legacy.

"Alexander the Great conquered Egypt in 332 BC. After his death in 323, the Greek general Ptolemy established a pharaonic dynasty that ruled Egypt for 275 years. I was the only Ptolemaic Pharaoh who learned the Egyptian language, including the hieroglyphic, hieratic, and Demotic scripts. I ruled Egypt for 21 years and my people revered me because I helped them to be healthy, happy, and prosperous.  

"Because you have Egyptian blood, share my name, and are willing to follow in my footsteps, I will help you, even as I helped my people of old.  

"You can defeat your itch by experimenting with oils, lotions, and powders, and continuing to consult with doctors. Try using ancient and modern treatments, including coconut oil, tea tree oil, eucalyptus oil, lavender oil, aloe, and antibiotics.

"Now I am going to help you be more beautiful. Never detract from your natural beauty by cutting or marking your body. Make sure that you are clean and have an alluring fragrance such as jasmine, lotus flower, or sandalwood. When my ship sailed into the harbor, an alluring scent floated on the breeze. Always remember that beauty includes the condition of body, mind, and soul, so strive to radiate an appealing essence.

"As the last pharaonic queen, I knew and applied the secrets of harmony and magnetism. Therefore, I say unto you, striving for more consonance and less dissonance in all you think and do will increase your happiness and prosperity."  

After giving her advice, Cleopatra smiled radiantly and said: "The afterlife is better than you can imagine." Then she stepped onto a sweet-smelling ship with golden wings and sailed away.

Cleo quickly wrote everything down and ever after followed Cleopatra's counsel, starting with using essential oils for her itch. She quickly discovered that tea tree and lavender oils were helpful, when greatly diluted. She also started wearing sandalwood perfume.

A short time later she was reading "Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austin and noticed that lavender water was mentioned as a skin treatment. After getting some De La Crus Lavender Water from Amazon she tried mixing in a small amount of Gold Bond Powder, and BINGO. Within a few weeks, her raging skin problem was alleviated by daily applications of her new potion. Later, she mixed another potion using water, a little lotion, a few Equate Vapor Bath Crystals, and a little bit of Glycerin, which worked even better.

Subsequently, a wise and inspired doctor surmised that the recurring nature of the problem might indicate an auto-immune issue and prescribed Sulfasalazine as an off-label skin treatment. A few days after starting those pills, the need for topical applications significantly diminished.

Amazed that following Cleopatra's suggestions worked so well, Cleo decided to diligently apply what had been said about beauty, happiness, and prosperity—and guess what—both Cleopatras lived happily ever after. 

Cleopatra References:

* Documentary (Kathleen Martinez)

* Interesting Facts

* Discover Insights

* Videos

© Copyright 2023 Gene Van Shaar